hubspot.com vs salesforce.com
Scored against: VP Marketing at Series B SaaS
Dimension by dimension
Replace with language addressing the actual VP Marketing tension: 'Stop stitching together 5 tools. One platform to prove marketing ROI and hit quota.'
Replace with problem-centric language: 'Close more deals without hiring'—or quantify the pain ('Sales reps spend 60% of time on admin, not selling').
Add trigger-moment specificity: 'After your Series B, your GTM stack became your scaling bottleneck. Here's how 200+ B2B SaaS companies unified their stack in 90 days.'
Add Series B specificity: 'Scale your sales team without tripling headcount' or 'Hire 3 commission-free reps, not 3 FTEs.'
Headline must name a measurable, time-bound outcome (e.g. '47% lift in 90 days').
Headline must name a measurable, time-bound outcome (e.g. '47% lift in 90 days').
Add specificity to existing proof (named customers, dollar amounts).
no testimonials